The One Sentence Managers Should Stop Saying — And Why
I always say, “I’m here whenever you need help,” to my direct reports.
But the truth is, I’m not. This is a lie.
Sometimes I’m in the middle of a big project and I absolutely need to focus.
Sometimes I need to step away to bring my kids to school or pick them up.
Sometimes I’m off the clock while they’re on, since we’re a global team.
Sometimes I’m physically and emotionally exhausted and I don’t have the energy to be in the moment with them like I should.
And that’s okay.
Being a good leader doesn’t mean being accessible at all times.
It’s about giving people the tools they need to figure out problems. It’s about empowering them to make decisions. It’s about preparing them when you are present for the moments that you can’t be.
How can you do this?
Explain your thinking.
The best bosses I’ve ever had have taken the time to walk me through their thought process. It’s incredible how vastly different one person may approach a problem than another.
The goal here isn’t to mold the way your team thinks so you all come up with the same results. The goal is to show them your inputs: the channels you tap for information and the factors you consider when you make a call and move a project forward.
Give them guardrails.
Handing over ownership is key. But when do you do it? How do you do it? What do you give up, what do you keep within arm’s reach?
Sit back and have a good think and decide: when do I want to be involved in this? Then be explicitly clear in communicating that: “I want you to lead this project until it’s ready. Before we launch, I want to have a business day to review with you.”
Share your mistakes.
Tell the horror stories! The goal here isn’t to get your team to never mess up like you did. You want to show them why you messed up, and how you responded. Don’t end the story with the failure. Tell them what you did next and how you approached it differently the next time.
Guessing wrong, calculating incorrectly, missing a major detail — we all lose the plot at some point. It’s about how you respond and what you change after the fact that matters.
It’s time to set some boundaries.
By saying, “I’m here all the time,” you’re sending the wrong message. Your job isn’t to solve their problems and be the hero. Your job is to help them learn. And that might mean they’re a little uncomfortable sometimes. They might feel uncertain. You did too when you were stepping outside your comfort zone.
By saying, “I’m here all the time,” you’re also sending the wrong message to yourself. Just because you’re a manager doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have limits with work. Logging off and being inaccessible for a period of time isn’t just necessary, it’s good for your mental and physical health.
So I’m changing the script. I’m no longer here all the time, but I am here. And when I am with you, I’m giving you my best, and I promise to help you learn.
